The Hitman’s Bodyguard

Hitman's Bodyguard, TheDirector: Patrick Hughes
Run Time: 1h 58m
MPAA: R
Stars: 3.5

Darius: I will bust a cap in your a**!
Michael: Have you ever said “please”?
Darius: PLEASE, MOTHERF*****!
Michael: WHY ARE WE ALWAYS YELLING!?

Continue reading

Advertisements

Kong: Skull Island

Kong - Skull IslandDirector: Jordan Vogt-Roberts
Run Time: 1h 58m
MPAA: PG-13
Stars: 4.0

Strap in for a wild ride through a treacherous jungle ruled by a giant ape. Kong: Skull Island is a helluva fun monster movie! Continue reading

The Hateful Eight

Hateful Eight, TheDirector: Quentin Tarantino
Run Time: 2h 47m (mostly)
Rating: R
Stars: 2.5

Quentin Tarantino makes movies for Quentin Tarantino. The fact that he’s his own target audience combined with the understanding that he’s batsh*t crazy makes for one hell of a movie experience. His latest WTF submission: The Hateful Eight. Continue reading

Jurassic Park

Jurassic ParkDirector: Steven Spielberg
Run Time: 2h 7m
MPAA: PG-13
Stars: 5.0

Growing up my parents were very strict about what my brother and I were allowed to watch/read/do/etc. Someone told them Jurassic Park was all blood and guts and dismemberment; essentially an atrociously evil movie. Obviously, this would not be allowed. One night my parents were walking through Walmart and stopped to watch the movie playing in the Entertainment department (when stores still did that sort of thing). They stood there for a good 10 minutes in awe of what they were seeing, convinced they needed to purchase this masterpiece immediately. The movie that made them stop? Jurassic Park. Continue reading