The Snowman

Snowman, TheDirector: Tomas Alfredson
Run Time: 1h 59m
MPAA: R
Stars: 1.5

Bahahahahahahahaha!!! This is the worst. Continue reading

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Patriots Day

patriots-dayDirector: Peter Berg
Run Time: 2h 13m
MPAA: R
Stars: 2.5

America remembers April 15, 2013. Two terrorists planted bombs at the finish line of the Boston Marathon and the results were graphic and tragic. Boston police, the FBI, and citizens worked together to capture the men responsible. Continue reading

Nocturnal Animals

nocturnal-animalsDirector: Tom Ford
Run Time: 1h 56m
MPAA: R
Stars: 2.0

In college I had to take Comp Lit. My left-brained self was less than thrilled when we started our poetry segment. I remember one assignment where I had to read a poem about this girl who was trying to braid her hair but it was wet, and analyze it. I sat at our kitchen table in tears as I screamed “I don’t get it! Why won’t she just grab a freakin’ towel? What is her problem!?” My über creative, right-brained brother then picked up my textbook, read through it once, and calmly explained the meaning of the words and what I was meant to see. (Spoiler alert: not at all about her stupid hair.) In addition to forming an agreement with my brother that he’d help me survive Comp Lit, I also discovered that I despised overly metaphorical works of art.

Nocturnal Animals is a two-hour excessively metaphorical work of art. Continue reading