The Shape of Water

Shape of Water, TheDirector: Guillermo del Toro
Run Time: 2h 3m
MPAA: R
Stars: 1.5

I’m convinced critics have no idea what they’re doing. Or they’re just f***ing with us. Continue reading

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Alien: Covenant

Alien - CovenantDirector: Ridley Scott
Run Time: 2h 2m
MPAA: R
Stars: 1.5

Four friends walk out of the theater.
One asks no one in particular, “So…was that a good movie??”

The three of us respond in unison, “No.” Continue reading

Life

LifeDirector: Daniel Espinosa
Run Time: 1h 44m
MPAA: R
Stars: 3.0

Our fascination with Mars continues when we stupidly discover Life on the Red Planet. Mark Watney is even luckier than we thought. And that’s saying something. Continue reading

Arrival

arrivalDirector: Denis Villeneuve
Run Time: 1h 56m
MPAA: PG-13
Stars: 3.5

Denis Villeneuve adds to his portfolio another incredibly interesting film. There will be sci-fi fans abound who will fall in love with this movie. My prejudice for the genre — and Arrival‘s particular subgenre — kept me from being completely wowed. Continue reading

Deadpool

DeadpoolDirector: Tim Miller
Run Time: 1h 48m
MPAA: R
Stars: 5.0

This could be my shortest review ever because all I would need to say is:

F*** Yeah!

Let’s face it, you’ve probably read enough about Deadpool as it is. But I’m selfish and I will elaborate on why I know this is the best Marvel movie yet. Continue reading

The Maze Runner

Maze Runner, TheDirector: Wes Ball
Run Time: 1h 53m
MPAA: PG-13
Stars: 3.5

When I saw The Maze Runner in theaters a year ago, I captioned my ceremonial movie stub posting with: Lord of the Hunger Maze. And for having never read the books, I wasn’t entirely wrong. Continue reading