Wonder Woman

Wonder WomanDirector: Patty Jenkins
Run Time: 2h 21m
MPAA: PG-13
Stars: 4.5

Me before Wonder Woman: …but I’m not a feminist…
Me after Wonder Woman: …AND WOMEN ARE EVERYTHING! WE WILL SAVE HUMANITY AND RESTORE PEACE, LOVE, AND UNDERSTANDING! OVERCOMING THE ‘NO MAN’S LANDS’ OF OUR TIME WILL BE OUR QUEST AND WE WILL SUCCEED IN ALL OUR BAD*** FEMALE GLORY!…

Before Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen, First of Her Name, the Unburnt, Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Breaker of Chains, and Mother of Dragons…there was Diana of Themyscira, daughter of Hippolyta, Queen of the Amazons. And you bet your a** she’s a muthaf*****’ treasure! Continue reading

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The Conjuring

Conjuring, TheDirector: James Wan
Run Time: 1h 52m
MPAA: R
Stars: 4.0

Allow me to introduce you to Ed and Lorraine Warren. They have seen things of nightmares and battled beings of Hell. Continue reading

The Witch

Witch, TheDirector: Robert Eggers
Run Time: 1h 32m
MPAA: R
Stars: 3.5

Instead of being a horror flick, The Witch is a slow-burn mind-f***. Incredibly disturbing, the impact of the film will come well after you’ve left the theater. Continue reading

Insidious

InsidiousDirector: James Wan
Run Time: 1h 43m
MPAA: PG-13
Stars: 3.0

The first time I watched Insidious I was house/dog-sitting for a friend. My husband was upstairs asleep with the dogs and I was alone in the family room. Needless to say, I was scared out of my mind. Quite a few times I thought, “What the hell am I doing!?” Lucky for me the movie took a hard turn into Cheesyville and I was able to sleep nightmare-free. Continue reading