Lady Bird

Lady BirdDirector: Greta Gerwig
Run Time: 1h 34m
MPAA: R
Stars: 3.0

I’m sure anyone who attended Catholic school in Sacramento, CA would appreciate Lady Bird. Unfortunately, the film catered too much to this narrow niche of an audience. I attended public school in Central Florida. A bit different, apparently. Continue reading

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Ingrid Goes West

Ingrid Goes WestDirector: Matt Spicer
Run Time: 1h 38m
MPAA: R
Stars: 2.0

[eye roll emoji] [middle finger emoji] [smiling sh*t emoji] [unimpressed emoji] #wtf #refund #hashtag Continue reading

Everything, Everything

Everything, EverythingDirector: Stella Meghie
Run Time: 1h 36m
MPAA: PG-13
Stars: 2.5

Settle in for yet another YA novel-turned-screenplay of teenagers falling in love in impossible circumstances and doing things that would get them a one-way ticket to military school. Honestly, I blame Shakespeare. Continue reading

Singin’ in the Rain

Singin' in the RainDirectors: Stanley Donen & Gene Kelly
Run Time: 1h 43m
MPAA: Approved (G)
Stars: 5.0

Somehow I managed to live 27 years without seeing what the world considers the greatest musical of all time. Thankfully, I have remedied that void in my life and was blessed to experience Singin’ in the Rain for the first on the silver screen. What a glorious feeling, indeed! Continue reading

Nocturnal Animals

nocturnal-animalsDirector: Tom Ford
Run Time: 1h 56m
MPAA: R
Stars: 2.0

In college I had to take Comp Lit. My left-brained self was less than thrilled when we started our poetry segment. I remember one assignment where I had to read a poem about this girl who was trying to braid her hair but it was wet, and analyze it. I sat at our kitchen table in tears as I screamed “I don’t get it! Why won’t she just grab a freakin’ towel? What is her problem!?” My über creative, right-brained brother then picked up my textbook, read through it once, and calmly explained the meaning of the words and what I was meant to see. (Spoiler alert: not at all about her stupid hair.) In addition to forming an agreement with my brother that he’d help me survive Comp Lit, I also discovered that I despised overly metaphorical works of art.

Nocturnal Animals is a two-hour excessively metaphorical work of art. Continue reading