It Comes at Night

It Comes At NightDirector: Trey Edward Shults
Run Time: 1h 31m
MPAA: R
Stars: 4.0

Which is worse: Trusting the wrong person? Or not trusting the right one? Continue reading

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Life

LifeDirector: Daniel Espinosa
Run Time: 1h 44m
MPAA: R
Stars: 3.0

Our fascination with Mars continues when we stupidly discover Life on the Red Planet. Mark Watney is even luckier than we thought. And that’s saying something. Continue reading

Nocturnal Animals

nocturnal-animalsDirector: Tom Ford
Run Time: 1h 56m
MPAA: R
Stars: 2.0

In college I had to take Comp Lit. My left-brained self was less than thrilled when we started our poetry segment. I remember one assignment where I had to read a poem about this girl who was trying to braid her hair but it was wet, and analyze it. I sat at our kitchen table in tears as I screamed “I don’t get it! Why won’t she just grab a freakin’ towel? What is her problem!?” My über creative, right-brained brother then picked up my textbook, read through it once, and calmly explained the meaning of the words and what I was meant to see. (Spoiler alert: not at all about her stupid hair.) In addition to forming an agreement with my brother that he’d help me survive Comp Lit, I also discovered that I despised overly metaphorical works of art.

Nocturnal Animals is a two-hour excessively metaphorical work of art. Continue reading

Inferno

infernoDirector: Ron Howard
Run Time: 2h 1m
MPAA: PG-13
Stars: 1.5

Irony: not being able to decide if you’d rather suffer 2 hours in Hell than watch a movie about it… OR … if watching said movie for 2 hours is in fact Hell. Continue reading

The Girl on the Train

girl-on-the-train-theDirector: Tate Taylor
Run Time: 1h 52m
MPAA: R
Stars: 1.5

If you’re a fan of Lifetime movies, you should skip this review and just go watch The Girl on the Train. It’s right up your alley. Reading any further will only upset your fragile mind because I will be harshly judging you for the next few minutes. Continue reading

Don’t Breathe

dont-breatheDirector: Fede Alvarez
Run Time: 1h 28m
MPAA: R
Stars: 4.0

Don’t Breathe is rightly named. Not just for the characters’ sake, but for the audience as well. My lungs had to remind me to inhale several times watching this one. Continue reading