Anomalisa

AnomalisaDirectors: Duke Johnson & Charlie Kaufman
Run Time: 1h 30m
MPAA: R
Stars: 2.5

Call me crazy, but I’m pretty sure the Academy just tricked me into watching puppet porn. Continue reading

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Joy


JoyDirector:
David O. Russell
Run Time: 2h 4m
MPAA: PG-13
Stars: 2.0

Dear Academy,
Just because an actor/actress is the only redeeming quality in a movie…that does not make his/her performance Oscar-worthy. Does he or she deserve a stiff drink? Absolutely. But the most prestigious award in Hollywood? I’m gonna go with “no”. Continue reading

13 Hours

13 Hours.jpgDirector: Michael Bay
Run Time: 2h 24m
MPAA: R
Stars: 4.5

Michael Bay’s love of explosions has finally graduated from Transformers into something more useful. (Don’t worry. He’ll screw it up again with Transformers 5.)

Welcome to my most political review yet. Continue reading

Carol

CarolDirector: Todd Haynes
Run Time: 1h 58m
MPAA: R
Stars: 3.5

If a girl falls in love after one look and pursues this new relationship at all costs, you’re probably watching a Disney movie so all is forgiven while understanding it’s ridiculous. But if said girl is Rooney Mara…then it’s Oscar worthy? Um…ok… Continue reading

The Hateful Eight

Hateful Eight, TheDirector: Quentin Tarantino
Run Time: 2h 47m (mostly)
Rating: R
Stars: 2.5

Quentin Tarantino makes movies for Quentin Tarantino. The fact that he’s his own target audience combined with the understanding that he’s batsh*t crazy makes for one hell of a movie experience. His latest WTF submission: The Hateful Eight. Continue reading